if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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