so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
