Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
