why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
