I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
