So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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