i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
