ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
