would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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