well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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