Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
