3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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