there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there was a trapeze. enough said
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
