you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize