hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
