What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize