...so i touched it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize