Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
