Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
