Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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