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Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
