We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
