Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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