you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
