I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
