We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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