I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
