Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Michael Bay diarrhea
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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