Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
