I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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