we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
