I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
