put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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