So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize