Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
