It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
