Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
