I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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