It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
