Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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