I CAN MOONWALK!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
