hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
