It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
