so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
