I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize