Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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