I have demons in me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
