Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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