Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
