3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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