I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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