I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
