He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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