Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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