Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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