Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
