Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
