he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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