somebody snuck up and got me drunk
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
