SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
