I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize