There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize