sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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