i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize